Embodied Health

As Mother’s Day approaches, I feel it is important to open a conversation about what exactly a mother is. We have ideas that a mother is someone who has given birth to a living child. Some would even specify that a mother must have to give birth to her own child in order to be qualified as a mother. However, if we truly examine the qualities of motherhood, we can easily see that these aren’t the only ways humans can become mothers.

Birth – /bərTH/ – The emergence of a new individual from the body of its parent. The act or process of bringing forth.

Giving birth to the next you

Recently, I have returned to my previous early morning ritual of waking up at 4 or 5am to spend time with myself in the gym. This was the part of my day I loved the most for a few years until a miscarriage, family health crisis, full term pregnancy and career upset caused me to retreat to my bed and deep into my body for four whole years. I couldn’t bring myself to get up early (if I got any sleep at all, that is) and each time I tried to move my body It felt impossibly heavy. My heart was broken. I felt I would never again feel the urge to move and breathe and connect with my body. It felt foreign and estranged. I was devastated. I had been here before, after my first child was born. And just like before, almost exactly the same length of time – 2.5 years after the birth of my second child I suddenly felt “ready.” A voice deep within finally said “It’s time,” and this was all I could hear for about 2 months until I finally dragged myself out of bed again at 4:30 last week and pep-talked my myself all the way to the gym in the car (out loud, by the way). I was ready to reconnect to my body and get to know this newer, older, different version of it. It will never be what it was at 20 or 30. It is what it is. And just like my children who are completely different individuals, I choose to love it at every stage, even when it is screaming at me. Even when it’s difficult to love.

I’ve realized over 39 years that I have given birth to myself in this way many times. “The emergence of a new individual from the body of its parent” applies directly to this kind of mothering. Caring for my own body, mind and soul and doing the uncomfortable work to bring forth the new variation of me. Sometimes, it is necessary to retreat into stillness and silence while you wait for the next version of you to form. Just as a pregnant mother must rest and conserve energy while they use tremendous amounts of energy within to create life, so too must we when we are preparing to bring a new us into the world.  A new version of your own body, soul, mind, your coping mechanisms, your thought patterns…. I could even consider my incredible therapist my “mid-wife” over the last 4 years, guiding me and holding my hand as I navigate the pains of growing and birthing a new Denver.

Sacrificing as the mother

When you become a mother, things that don’t serve the new dynamic are lost. Old habits, activities, relationships, these things are no longer the priority simply fall away. It feels necessary (and sometimes even easy) to prioritize the needs of the new precious, vulnerable, innocent life before you.  Sometimes these changes are just for a while and sometimes these losses are for good. The point is not to cling to them but rather embrace the new version of life and nurture it with compassion and understanding.

Sacrifice of the old can be difficult, but when we parent an innocent, helpless child we know that it can be a necessary part of supporting them. We can apply this same loving sacrifice to our own rebirth and the birth of our projects, passions and ideas. It may not be easy to change direction or forgo what is easier, but deep inside we can rest assured that letting go of the old provides space and clarity for something new and beautiful to grow.

If we’re lucky, we give birth to ourselves many, many times over a lifetime.

And this makes us all mothers to ourselves. Mothers who are in tune with our own needs and who love and nurture the self within.

Giving birth to new ideas

It is also true that we are mothers to the new ideas, projects and creations we put forth into the world. Whether it’s an idea, a work of art, a home project or an entire new business, we birth so much beauty into the world.

My first business became mine my accident (As some pregnancies do.) I found myself at 23 years old with a business in my hands that my own mother had walked away from. We had no money and less than 50 students, but something deep inside me was ready to work and fight to make something of this opportunity. 8 years of late nights, employees, expansions, and 200 students later, I felt stuck and unhappy. Suddenly, this was no longer the dream. A new desire surfaced, and the universe listened. The release of that business was messy and difficult and sad, and I thought I would truly disappear from heartache. But much like when a human child leaves the nest, it was time for me to let go.

This letting go was not at all easy and it turned my world upside down, but it made room for some of the most incredible opportunities I have ever had. It allowed me to spend time raising my first child, nurturing my new self, and building a new life in a new place with a whole new career path.

And now, again I find myself at a crossroads, having lost and mourned for another job. An opportunity that did not make it to fruition (much like the baby I lost) and I stand at the beginning of another business. “Bringing forth” Embodied Health with more knowledge and power and confidence because I have been here before. The first time I gave birth to a business (and a baby) was terrifying. I had no idea how to do it. But trusting the wisdom of nature and my body, I got through eventually. What we sometimes forget is, you can’t stop nature. Nature moves forward. Nature releases the old and provides fertile ground for the new. Nature promotes growth of all things – including you.

This time, (just like with my second child’s birth) I know more about what I want and who I want to be in the new entity I am creating.

Creating anything new makes you a mother.

Protecting as the mother

When we bring a child into the world, there is a deep sense of protection over the new life before us. We’ll do anything to make sure our baby is safe and fight to the end to ensure they have a chance to grow in a harmonious world. When we bring life to new ideas, new projects, businesses and new versions of us, these things are also vulnerable and fragile at first and therefore, we must protect them – fiercely.

Stand up for what you have created, set boundaries and embrace protecting that which you have created. It is worthy, it is beautiful, it is valuable and you do not need to excuse or explain any of it.

Shakti and the Divine Feminine:

In yogic philosophy, Shakti represents the dynamic, creative force of the universe, often associated with the Prakriti (the natural, material world). Shakti is the feminine energy within all, and complements the still, unchanging essence of Shiva (masculine energy), symbolizing the balance between active and receptive energies. Everything and everyone has a balance of Shakti and Shiva, representing the balance of feminine and masculine within.

Shakti is creation, transformation, emotional intelligence and the flow of life, both in the cosmos and within individuals. Shakti connects us to the concept of the “Mother” within and is a source of inner strength, intuition, and creative expression.

We all carry Shakti energy within – and therefore, we are all mothers.

We create, we produce, we bring life to the world and we connect with the movement of life. Birth, life, death and rebirth.

May we celebrate the mother within every day and honor the divine feminine what brings life to the world.

Happy Mother’s Day.