
Here I am
On a plane to co-lead a retreat for yoga professionals in Belize reading “The Yamas & Niyamas” to prepare for my next YTT weekend. I’ve trained over 800 yoga teachers in the last 10 years and taught countless students in my life. I’ve read this book before many times, I’ve had these conversations and read the inspirational quotes and poetry regarding truth. I’ve understood this concept and nodded my head while reading. “Yes, truth is good, etc etc….”
But it was right here and now in this moment, that I realized that I am a person for whom truth is absolutely non-negotiable.
My family of origin would call it “over sharing” or “dramatic” but I’ve always felt that my ability to share openly with others has been my superpower as a teacher and a person. It certainly makes for difficult moments, bringing me time and time again against the status quo in a world where sharing only the highlights is the norm. As an elder millennial child of the boomer generation, sharing ourselves openly is considered by many of our elders to be inappropriate or “too much.”
Speaking the truth (no matter how gently) is bound to close doorways with people who aren’t aligned. It certainly has done that for me – and yet at night I go to sleep with no regrets. Ive lived seasons of my life where I stifled the truth to fit the mold and those times have led to deep despair within me. Therefore, I choose to no longer comprise on truth.
As a child, I remember a summer spent with my father where I made friends with a young boy. I had promised him a lollipop for some bet we made and as we were leaving town, my dad made a stop at the store. As we dropped the candy off in his mailbox, my father explained to me that keeping your promises is one of the most important things a person could do. I’ve long forgotten this boy’s name or even where we vacationed that summer but I’ve never ever forgotten that moment in the car, pulling up to the mailbox to deliver on my promise. To make sure what I said I’d do was, in fact the truth. I’ll always be grateful to my father for that lesson.
Much like my Vietnam veteran, New York born father, it’s no surprise I’ve always been “warrior” dharma type. Fighting for what’s right and for those who have had their truth threatened. Striving to be the good in the world.
My favorite musical “Into the Woods” holds one of my favorite quotes – “nice is different than good.”
Good isn’t easy
Good isn’t pretty
Good is lonely
But good is where connection happens
Good holds hands with truth and dances with non-violence to the music of love
So I ask you, are you living in truth today?
Living in truth has led to detaching myself from my expectations and more than once it’s brought me back to the starting line alone.
Living in truth has lost me family members and partners and friends and helped me build deeper connections every day with incredible people that I’m blessed to have in my corner.
Living in truth has gifted me with a partner and family unit based on unconditional love, growth and connection.
Living in truth got me on this plane to Belize, all on my own and for that I’m forever grateful.
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